5 reasons why nice guys never get the girl

As human beings, we know when bad means bad and good means good.

We have the capacity to differentiate between righteousness and evil, and kindness and meanness.

But why is it that dating changes the way we perceive these two opposites? For some reason, the bad guy is more attractive and the good guy is a little less appealing.

Girls are known to chase down bad guys and ignore the good guys.

Here are five reasons why bad guys always leave the good guys in the dust:

1) Bad and good lose their meaning when it comes to dating

In the real world, bad and good mean different things. We know that bad has all the horrible attributes. No one wants to go to a bad restaurant or a bad hotel. We want to eat at good establishments and have good experiences.

Dating changes all that. The bad guy becomes fun, alluring, and enticing. The good guy is unattractive, cliche, and boring.

The reason is simple:

We apply different standards of good and bad to dating because we don’t want to be with a guy that society thinks is good.

Think about it:

When someone is good, they are socially acceptable. When they are bad, they are willing to break the rules.

Breaking the rules shows that the guy is willing to take a stand. They believe in something and won’t stop at anything to get it.

We tend to find ruthlessness and audacity attractive, even though it’s at the expense of others.

2) Good becomes boring

For some reason, the good guy is often boring and uninteresting. He likes the “safe” things.

He likes hanging out with his friends, playing some sports, and doing his homework. He likes letting you know where he’s been and where he’s going. He likes taking you out to restaurants, the movies, and maybe a hockey game.

These things are great but when placed side by side the midnight car rides and the unauthorized entry to forgotten parks, bad guys seem a whole lot more exciting.

It’s not because good guys don’t know how to have fun – it’s that bad guys take fun on a whole new (sometimes illegal) level.

Doing drugs, drinking excessively, skinny dipping, trespassing. These things involve guts and the adrenaline rush that comes with it can easily be mistaken for genuine fun.

3) Bad guys are mysterious

Bad guys will never tell you what they’re up to. You don’t know what they’re thinking so much so that you’re not sure if they even actually like you.

In some weird way, this is attractive because uncertainty creates a feeling of freedom. We feel unhinged from reality, and this carelessness helps us feel light about our lives.

Without certainty, we can be whoever we want to be and act however we want to.

With bad guys, there’s a lingering feeling of nonpermance. It’s as if nothing that you do will stick to the world.

Often these bad guys seem like a vacation from our real lives; a one-off night of fun and then nothing else.

4) Movies tell us they can change

Let’s face it: we don’t always want just one night. After the bad guy sticks for a couple more days, we start thinking that maybe this could become something more. And then something else occurs in our heads: maybe we can tame the bad guy.

This challenge is appealing to most because there’s a certain pride that comes with taming the unknown.

Hollywood plays a big role in this. In movies, we see the bad guys turn good for the girl next door. Suddenly they don’t smoke, steal, or kill anymore.

Suddenly they show a vulnerable side to themselves as the screen darkens to a cinematic life revelation.

Only this is real life and that doesn’t happen. Real bad people don’t change for others, least of all someone they spend just 3 days with.

It’s easy to fall for bad guys because we project our movie fantasies on real people. In reality, most people don’t have tragic backstories.

No dead mothers, no lost opportunities, just a series of bad decisions that have shaped who they are and who they want to become.

5) The drama secretly interests us

Deep down, we wish that our lives would turn into a romantic flick. Maybe the guy will go out of his way and fly 200 miles just to see you. Maybe he’ll steal the diamond ring you’ve been eyeing.

Whatever it is, we prefer the bad, the dangerous, and the destructive because it’s different.

The same things happen to us on a daily basis. We wake up, we eat, we go to work, we socialize, and we sleep. So when a stranger tells you he wants to take you on a ride on his motorcycle, it’s easier to say yes than to say no.

The bad guys offer a slice of life often inaccessible to most of us. They offer a brand new way of seeing and experiencing the world and for a moment, it feels like you’re the hero of your own movie. And who wouldn’t want that?

Closing thoughts

If you’re a nice guy and you want to become a more appealing man, there’s one very simple thing you can do.

You can embrace your inner beast.

You were born to be a powerful man, and society has slowly extinguished the flame of fire within. It’s now just a flicker waiting to roar to life.

You only get one chance at life and you may as well make the most of it.

If you want to learn how to embrace your inner beast, check out our free masterclass:

Embrace your inner beast: Turning your anger into your ally (free masterclass)

If you’d like to read more about how to become a powerful person, check out these articles:

Ripping apart your inner sheep – break your chains and find your true purpose

Rudá Iandê explains the 6 key steps to living an authentic life

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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