Communication in relationships is already hard as it is. But add distance to the mix, and it becomes even more challenging.
They say “distance means so little, when someone means so much.”
But that’s not entirely true, is it?
Nothing can put a relationship at risk like distance does. Somehow, distance has the uncanny ability to break even the strongest bonds between couples.
It can break hard-earned trust. And it has the power to push us further from each other. Not just in a physical way, but emotionally as well.
Truth be told, it’s one of the hardest things a couple has to go through.
So how do you come out of this battle and win it?
In my opinion, there are 5 genuine ways to ensure you never get disconnected from your partner.
Here are 5 pieces of advice and principles to remember if you find yourself in a long-distance relationship.
1. If the relationship matters, the distance doesn’t.
Do you know the easiest trap you can fall in, when you’re not physically together with someone you love?
It’s how insanely easy it is to forget the value of your relationship.
It’s easy to forget the little things. You forget the deep contentment of waking up next to each other, the warmth of each hug, the magic of each touch.
And truthfully, it is these small but intimate parts of being together, that reminds us how much we love and value someone.
But when you’re apart, you don’t have these constant reminders. Instead, you have loneliness. You have this craving to be with someone – and it is never satisfied.
So it is even more important to remember that the relationship matters – not the distance.
Don’t let idea of being far from someone make you push them further away. Try to remember why you choose to be with them, why you love them, why it’s important that you stay together.
2. Share the little moments of joy.
Distance has the tendency to make you take your relationship for granted. So it is even more crucial to take the small victories when you do have them. Even more important, is that you share them together.
Even if it means sharing the small things that happen every day. Things like doing a great job at work, having a nice time with friends, or the small random moments that make you smile.
Sharing this with your partner creates positive interaction. It lightens the mood. And it connects you in good ways.
When you add a spark of positivity in the ways you communicate to each other,
3. Allot and prioritize time for each other.
Spontaneity is a difficult thing to achieve when you’re in a long-distance relationship. You have so many things to deal with – time difference, busy schedules, living full lives outside of each other. It will be extremely difficult to just reach each other spontaneously.
So, make each other a priority. You don’t have to talk for three hours every day. But it’s important to allot time so that you can sit down and talk to each other. It will make communication not only constant, but easier to manage as well.
Additionally, prioritizing each other gives importance to your relationship. It gives you as a couple something tangible to do. When everything else is stripped away – your ability to be with each other or to be there when you need one another – at least you can do this one actionable thing for each other.
That alone, means so much when you are forced to be apart physically.
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Suffering from Empty and Draining Relationships?
The legendary shaman Rudá Iandê reveals the 3 most important factors to healthy and loving relationships (and to experience them right now).
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4. It’s okay to build your own personal life. And it’s okay that your partner does too.
Sometimes, the distance makes you want to overcompensate on other things. You feel powerless, as if it takes double the amount of effort to reach out to your partner. So you try to make it up by holding on to them too hard.
You get so caught up in the process of keeping your relationship together, that you forget everything else. You give so much, that it becomes your only priority.
But that’s a huge mistake to make.
Don’t forget to build your own personal life. Don’t forget who you are outside of your relationship.
What makes you, you? It’s your passions, dreams, goals. It’s your hobbies. You have friends, family, a job. Don’t neglect all of these things just because you feel powerless in your long distance relationship.
And remember, it’s okay to let your partner live their life too. Don’t get caught up in each other. Don’t try and control and hold someone back by having incredible experiences.
If it makes sense, live healthy, individual lives – but do it together.
Be a whole person. And let your partner be their own person, too.
Invest in each other. More importantly, allow the other person to grown and evolve in their own way.
Don’t be afraid that if they do, they’d grow apart from you. That won’t be the case if your relationship is important.
Instead of limiting or holding each other back, encourage one another instead. Motivate your partner to pursue their dreams and goals. And make sure they do the same for you, too.
5. Talk through the struggles, even the hard feelings.
People often tell you to “stay positive” when you’re in a long distance relationship. And for the most part, thinking positively can help you get through this challenge.
But it’s one thing to have a positive attitude, and another thing to avoid emotions entirely.
Talking through the difficult situations, listening to your partner’s struggles, and sharing everything, even the negative things, will only deepen your bond.
It won’t make you sadder. It won’t make the situation worse than it is. Talking about the hard feelings won’t damage your relationship – it will help you.
So don’t hesitate to talk to each other, even if it means you want to complain or vent a little. Because if you’re not there to listen to what the other person is going through, who else will be?
It’s just the two of you. You should have each other’s backs. Especially when it gets too hard.
Don’t be lazy about it too. Texting is an easy way to miscommunication how you feel. Talk through the phone or Skype. Look at each other’s face and listen when you do.
There are no shortcuts, especially in long distance-relationships.
Long-distance relationships are hard – but that they can also be incredible.
Most people believe that long-distance relationships are wrought with challenges and difficulties, and nothing more.
The truth is, if done right, long distance relationships can strengthen a bond between two people in love, in a unique and profound way.
Couples are tested to their limits. They are forced to question their love on a daily basis. But when they do navigate long-distance romance, they come out invincible.
Long-distance relationship strengthens intimacy. It hones communication. And at the end of the tunnel, you will have the feeling that you’ve conquered the highest mountain.
If your relationship is important, if you’re both strong, and if you have commitment – this will be an incredibly fulfilling and amazing experience for you.
Now that you’ve read this article on long-distance relationships, check out our guide on how to find yourself.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder