After a fight, most couples come together and reaffirm their love for each other. They kiss and make up in no time at all, right?
Sometimes yes, but other times things don’t go quite so smoothly after a fight.
In fact, most of the time arguments lead to further tension instead of reconciliation. When this happens, some couples will even decide to break up.
But is that the only way things can go?
Is there anything that can be done to make sure things go smoothly after a fight?
Well, actually, there is: the 3 day rule.
The rule says you should give your partner space for at least 3 days if an argument gets too heated and you want to smooth things over.
Let’s take a closer look:
How to apply the 3 day rule after an argument
The 3 day rule is the rule that couples should give each other some space for at least 3 days after an argument.
It can also be a helpful guideline if you want to wait before apologizing.
The 3 day rule works well because it gives everyone the time they need to calm down from the fight, but it isn’t too long that you forget what the fight was about.
If you are too quick to talk about the fight, you might easily get angry again. You need to give yourselves a break before you talk it out again.
Here are some steps to follow:
1) Understand what you’re getting into
Make sure you both understand the purpose of the 3-day wait period.
This will help you to both trust the process and be clear about what you’re waiting for.
2) Be supportive of each other
Talk about what you can do to help each other during this time. If there’s something your partner needs that might be hard for you to provide, let them know.
3) Set clear and realistic expectations
Set clear expectations for what will happen at the end of the 3 days. Make sure you both know that you’ll revisit the issue, but you’ll be waiting three days first.
4) Give each other space
This rule is especially important for couples who fight a lot.
More often than not, couples who fight often will always be arguing. They will never find a fix to their issues because they are too busy fighting about their previous fights.
As such, the 3 day rule gives couples time to cool down and make their own decisions about what happened.
Couples should take the space they need to make sure they are in the right place to talk about the fight.
During the 3 days, it’s important not to text, talk to or see the person you’re dating. Tell them that you need a few days to think things through.
If you live with your partner, then it’s not going to be possible to completely ignore them, but you can tell them that you need some space and do your own thing while trying to keep contact to a minimum.
5) Give yourself time to process the fight
Remember to use the 3 days to think about the fight and process what happened. It’s not just about giving each other space.
The 3 day rule also gives couples time to heal from their fight. No couple can go through a fight without being affected.
Couples can use this time to process the fight in their own way. They can work on the things that need to be worked on so that the fight does not affect their relationship.
They can also figure out where they went wrong to make sure that the fight does not happen again.
6) Ask for help
If you or your partner are still quite upset after 3 days, you may need some more time and even some guidance.
If you find that you’re unable to talk about the fight in a calm and rational manner after 3 days, then I suggest speaking to a professional relationship coach.
No relationship is perfect and we all need help from time to time.
Every once in a while I get into a really big fight with my boyfriend and I find that talking to a professional really helps.
Now, I found my relationship coach on a popular site called Relationship Hero. They have many coaches to choose from with various backgrounds (and most of them have a degree in psychology) so you’re guaranteed to find someone that you click with.
The best part is that you don’t have to make an appointment weeks in advance. I know that when you have a problem, you want to sort it out ASAP!
All you have to do is go to Relationship Hero and choose a relationship coach. Within minutes you’ll be getting tailor-made advice you so desperately need.
7) Work on your well-being
Fighting is a drain, both emotionally and physically.
It raises your blood pressure, triggers a rush of stress hormones, and can leave you feeling exhausted. That’s why it’s important to work on your well-being.
- Exercise: You don’t have to go to the gym or spend hours at a time working out to make a difference. Even 45 minutes of walking a day can help you reduce the impact of stress on your body.
- Eat well: What you eat can have a big impact on your emotions. Eating plenty of fiber, fruits, and vegetables can help you feel less stressed, and can also make you feel more energetic.
- Find time for mindfulness: Taking 15 minutes a day to do something that helps you relax can be a big help in reducing stress. Try journaling, reading, meditating, or even gardening as a way to unwind.
- Spend time with friends and family: You need people who love and support you, who care about you, and who can help you step back and see your situations realistically. Trust me, having outside people in your life will help you avoid getting too stuck in your head when you get into a fight with your partner.
Why 3 days?
The 3 day rule is a pretty arbitrary number, but it does make sense when you consider its intended purpose.
The rule is meant to give partners time to calm down and reflect on the fight’s events.
It also gives them time to miss each other and long for the good times they used to have.
More importantly, it gives them time to realize what they love about the relationship and why they don’t want to break up.
It is important to note that the 3 day rule doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk about the fight at all.
What it does mean is that you shouldn’t talk about what happened in the fight until the 3 day deadline has passed.
After the 3 days, you can approach the fight with a more rational and less emotional mindset. You can use this time to think about what happened and what could be done differently next time.
Why is giving your partner space important?
The 3 day rule is a guideline that is meant to smooth things over after a fight.
You use it to give yourself time to calm down, reflect and plan what you’ll say when you talk to your partner again.
You also use it to give your partner time to do the same.
By giving each other space, you are making an effort to smooth things over and make sure your relationship doesn’t end.
Giving your partner space after a fight allows them time to reflect on what happened. It gives them time to miss you and realize how much they love you. This is important because some couples fall into the trap of dwelling on the fight and obsessing over the details.
If you want to make sure your relationship doesn’t end after a fight, you need to give your partner time to calm down and realize what they’re missing.
When you should not use the 3 day rule
The 3 day rule can be really helpful if you want to smooth things over after a fight. However, it isn’t always the best idea.
This rule is helpful if you have a normal argument or a fight that is based on a misunderstanding.
However, it isn’t always helpful if you have a serious fight or if there is abuse involved.
In cases like this, you need to forget about the rule and get help right away. Giving yourself time to calm down is important, but you also need to seek help.
If you have been abused by your partner, you shouldn’t wait before seeking help. You should get in contact with a helpline as soon as possible.
The 3 day rule is a guideline that is meant to help couples work through an argument and make amends after a fight.
You use it to give yourself time to calm down and reflect on what happened. You also use it to give your partner time to do the same.
The rule is meant to help couples smooth things over after a fight and make sure their relationship is okay.
By following the 3 day rule, you can make sure you don’t do anything rash after a fight. You can use this rule to make sure the relationship is still healthy and that you’re both committed to it.
However, the rule is not always helpful. In some cases, time just isn’t enough to resolve your problems, that’s why I highly recommend speaking to a professional relationship coach to help you and your partner work things out.
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