10 things people often regret on their deathbeds (and how you can avoid them)

It’s a universal truth that everyone has regrets.

But can you imagine having those regrets while lying on your deathbed?

Regrets on one’s deathbed are often about things we didn’t do, chances we didn’t take, and dreams we never chased.

The perspective from that final vantage point can be painfully clear.

Yet, we don’t have to wait until our final moments to live a regret-free life.

The aim of this article is to share those common deathbed regrets and offer ways you can avoid them.

So here they are, the 10 things people often regret on their deathbeds – and how you can dodge these sorrowful pitfalls.

1) Living life on others’ terms

One of the biggest regrets people voice on their deathbeds is that they spent a lifetime living to meet others’ expectations, rather than following their own dreams and aspirations.

We grow up conditioned by societal norms and familial pressures. It’s easy to lose sight of what we truly desire, as we get caught up in the daily grind, trying to fit into roles that don’t necessarily reflect who we are.

The problem is, by the time we reach our final moments, it’s too late to make that 180-degree turn. The realization hits hard – we’ve lived a life that wasn’t entirely ours, and there’s no rewind button.

But it doesn’t have to be this way for you.

Start by asking yourself what your dreams are. What are your passions? What would you like to achieve if there were no limitations? Once you have the answers, make a conscious effort to incorporate these elements into your life.

Remember, it’s your life. Don’t let anyone else hold the pen when writing your story.

2) Neglecting personal relationships

I know firsthand how easy it is to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, prioritizing work and career over personal relationships.

It happened to me.

I was so focused on climbing the corporate ladder that I lost sight of what was truly important – my relationships with family and friends.

I thought there would always be time to catch up, to make amends, to spend quality time with my loved ones.

Only when I lost a dear friend, who waited in vain for me to find time for a simple coffee catch-up, did I understand the gravity of my mistake.

Many people express this regret on their deathbeds – the wish that they had spent more time nurturing their relationships rather than chasing material success.

You can avoid this regret by consciously making time for your loved ones. Remember, careers can be rebuilt, but once a relationship is strained or lost, it’s often irrevocable.

Learn from my experience. Don’t wait until it’s too late to appreciate and cultivate your personal relationships.

3) Not expressing emotions

Humans are emotional beings, yet we often suppress our feelings to avoid conflict or discomfort.

This can lead to a lifetime of unexpressed emotions and unresolved issues.

Studies show that the inability to express emotions can have significant impacts on mental and physical health, including increased risk of heart disease and depression.

On their deathbeds, many people regret not having opened up, not having said ‘I love you’ more often, not having apologized or forgiven.

They regret the emotional barriers they built, which ultimately led to a life of isolation and disconnection.

You can avoid this by making it a priority to express your true feelings.

It might be uncomfortable at first, but over time, it leads to stronger, healthier relationships and a life filled with genuine connections. Value your emotions and let them guide you towards a more authentic life.

4) Letting fear dictate life

Fear is a natural human response to potential danger.

But when it starts dictating your decisions and preventing you from trying new things, it becomes a regret on the brink of death.

Many on their deathbeds reminisce about the opportunities they didn’t seize, the risks they didn’t take, and the adventures they didn’t embark on, all because of fear.

Fear of failure, of judgment, of the unknown – these fears can keep you confined in your comfort zone. But the truth is, life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

You can avoid this regret by facing your fears head-on. Start small. Take calculated risks. Try something new.

Every failure is a lesson learned and every risk taken brings you one step closer to a more fulfilling life.

Don’t let fear rob you of life’s richest experiences. Live courageously!

5) Neglecting self-care

In the rush of daily life, it’s easy to put ourselves last.

We often neglect our physical health, mental wellness, and spiritual needs while catering to others’ demands or chasing career goals.

Regrettably, many realize the importance of self-care too late.

On their deathbeds, they wish they’d taken better care of their health, spent more time in nature, meditated, or simply indulged in activities they enjoyed.

But you don’t have to wait until your final moments to understand the value of self-care. Start today.

Allocate time for regular exercise, eat a balanced diet, take mental health breaks, and engage in activities that rejuvenate your spirit and bring you joy.

Ultimately, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.

6) Not valuing time

Time, once passed, is something we can never retrieve.

Many on their deathbeds regret not recognizing the true value of time until it’s too late.

They regret the years wasted on anger, holding grudges, or dwelling on past mistakes.

They wish they had spent their limited time more wisely, savored those fleeting moments of joy, and appreciated the everyday miracles.

But the beauty is, you and I, we still have time.

Starting today, let’s strive to value each moment. Let’s forgive quickly, love truly, and unplug often to enjoy the world around us. Let’s stop waiting for weekends or holidays to enjoy life.

After all, every morning we wake up is a gift, and it’s up to us to make it count.

Time is precious; let’s not wait until our final moments to realize its worth.

7) Ignoring inner voice

Years ago, I was offered a lucrative job that on paper seemed like the perfect opportunity.

But something didn’t feel right. I ignored that feeling, took the job, and spent a miserable year trying to fit into a role that wasn’t me.

Many people, when reflecting on their life, regret not listening to their inner voice more often.

They regret making decisions based on rationalizations and external pressures instead of following their gut instinct.

Your intuition is a powerful tool. It’s your internal compass guiding you towards what’s right for you.

To avoid this regret, learn to trust your gut more. It might not always align with logic, but it often leads you down the path that’s most authentic to who you are.

I’ve learned this lesson the hard way and now I never ignore my inner voice.

And I hope you won’t either.

8) Pursuing happiness as a goal

It might seem strange, but many people on their deathbeds regret having spent their lives in the pursuit of happiness.

They chased the idea of happiness as a final destination, often missing out on joy in the process.

The truth is, happiness isn’t a fixed state to be achieved. It’s a by-product of living a fulfilling life, of experiencing love and pain, success and failure, joy and sorrow.

So instead of making happiness your end goal, focus on living a meaningful life.

Embrace the full spectrum of human emotions. Learn from your failures, find joy in small moments, love deeply and let go when necessary.

In doing so, you might just find that happiness sneaks up on you when you least expect it.

9) Not saying goodbye

Saying goodbye is never easy, especially when it comes to loved ones.

Yet, many people on their deathbeds regret not expressing their final farewells, leaving words unsaid and feelings unexpressed.

This regret often stems from sudden losses where there was no opportunity for a proper goodbye.

Or it can be the result of strained relationships where pride and misunderstanding stand in the way of reconciliation.

To avoid this regret, don’t leave things left unsaid.

Tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, apologize when you’re wrong, and don’t let minor disagreements rob you of valuable time with them.

Remember, life is unpredictable.

Express your love and appreciation while you still can. Say your goodbyes in time so that you can leave this world with a peaceful heart.

10) Not living in the present

The most profound regret people express on their deathbeds is not living in the present moment.

They lament the time spent dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about future uncertainties, while missing out on the beauty of the here and now.

But you have the power to live differently.

Mindfulness, the art of staying present and fully engaged with whatever you’re doing at the moment, can significantly enhance your quality of life.

It allows you to savor every experience, to appreciate every emotion, and to live each day to its fullest.

The bottom line is:

The past is gone, and the future isn’t promised. All we truly have is this moment. Make it count.

Final reflection: The inherent wisdom of life

The tales of deathbed regrets serve as a mirror, reflecting the innate wisdom of life that often goes unnoticed in our daily hustle.

A study conducted by Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, resonates deeply with the themes we’ve explored.

Her findings revealed that the most common regrets among the dying were not about the things they did, but rather, the things they didn’t do.

This profound realization is a call to action for us all. It’s an invitation to live authentically, passionately, and mindfully – to seize every opportunity, express every emotion, and cherish every relationship.

Life is not a rehearsal. Every day is a new scene in the grand play of your existence. It’s up to you how you choose to perform.

Let these deathbed regrets be a reminder, not of mortality, but of the incredible opportunity you have each day – to live fully, love deeply, and leave no room for regrets.