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12 things you can do when the person you love suffers anxiety

It’s easy to love someone when everything’s butterflies and rainbows.

But it’s not always going to be like that.

If the person you love suffers from anxiety, here are some tips on what you can do to get through these tough times together:

1.) Appreciate their good sides

No-one wants to be defined by just one character we possess. Especially if it’s the negative ones.

When your lover suffers from anxiety, remind them of the traits you like about them.

Appreciate their thoughtfulness and care for you. Notice the efforts they make and praise them for it.

This will make them feel appreciated for who they are.

2.) Don’t push them too hard

There may be situations that seem normal for you but not for your partner.

Remember that anxious people are always on alert. Their minds are never settled. Their bodies are prepared to fight or flight.

This state keeps them exhausted thus making some things tiring for them to do compared with other people.

The best thing you can do is to not push them too hard on doing things.

Let them know that they can work at it one step at a time without pressuring themselves too much.

3.) Give them enough space to breathe

Struggling with the hyper-tense state, this leads your partner to get overwhelmed easily.

They’re aware of everything that’s happening around them; the noise, the people.

So when you feel excited about going out and notice that your lover isn’t as hyped as you are, that’s because of their anxiety.

What you can do about this is to let them know they’re always free to leave whenever they want to.

That way, they won’t be burdened with the thought of it and feel at ease if they choose to go home.

4.) Understand their situation

When you suffer anxiety, it’s an incredibly difficult situation to be in.

Most of the time, they just need you to be there to understand their situation.

Additionally, you can try researching the effects of anxiety on people to give you better understanding of it.

5.) Take time to listen

Sometimes, all they need is a listening ear.

When they start to open up, just listen to them intently. Feel their pain. Connect with their emotions. No telling what to do. No arguments. No judgments.

They already have enough thoughts running on their mind.

6.) Never ask if they’re okay when you know they’re not

For someone you love, you know when they’re not really okay. There’s no need for you to confirm it.

You can try to encourage and lift them up but when they do ask to be alone, just let them be.

This doesn’t mean they don’t need you or your help, they just know it’s a battle they have to face alone.

7.) Just stay by their side

It’s hard struggling with anxiety every single day.

Harder for people like you, who might not really understand what your loved one feels.

You may have felt exhausted and lose your patience at some point but managed to stay because you love that person.

Well, they love you too and all you’ve done for them is never forgotten.

Staying through the good and bad times is what love is all about after all.

8.) Letting go is hard for them

Anxious people are caught in a cycle where their brain is actively linking any traumatic experience to the present situation they are in.


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This is why it’s hard for them to just let things go. If it was easy, then they wouldn’t be struggling with all those worries anyway.

Remember this when you’re tempted to tell them to just let things go.

9.) Know that they’re trying really hard to change

We are all resistant to change.

Taking the old habits away or getting out of our own comfort zones is one of the struggles we all face.

Anxious people are no exception.

When your partner is caught up in situations where they’re faced with a big change, it may be evident for you that they’re struggling with it.

But always remember, they are trying their best though it may not show.

In times like this, it’s best to encourage them to keep moving forward and to never stop trying. Celebrate every milestone of success they achieve. Even though it may seem small.

10.) They’re not intentionally ignoring you

People struggling with anxiety have these inner monologues going on inside them.

Sometimes, they drift out of conversations overthinking something that you might have said.

Don’t try quizzing them about it or ask if they’re listening to you. Try to show some understanding of how challenging anxiety can be.

11.) Look at things from a different perspective

Anxiety sucks.

But ultimately, the struggle of anxiety can make someone a better person.

Anxiety can cause people to see the world through a unique lens.

Though they may miss out on events and overthink things, it’s become part of who they are.

When the person you love enjoys the struggle that comes with anxiety, this means they’ve accepted it and chosen to see the positive side of it as well.

It’s time you should too!

12.) Love them even more

You might not be in the best situation right now but this can bring out the best in your relationship.

With your partner going through anxiety, this is the best opportunity for you to show your love for him.

When you love them at their worst, how much more can you love them at their best?

The bottom line:

Every relationship has their own struggle.

We all undergo different seasons of testings and challenges.

The best part would be what you become after the battles have been won.

Don’t give up and just keep loving!

Editor’s note: Have you ever tried hypnotherapy to address your challenges with anxiety? I recently took Marisa Peer’s free hypnotherapy class with Mindvalley Academy and it completely changed my life. You can check it out by clicking here.

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Written by Maria Fe Inot

I have expressed myself writing only through my journals, but now I'm sharing something for the world to read. I am writing not just to share my thoughts but every part of who I am.

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