12 phrases socially intelligent people use to make an instant connection

Ever noticed how some people just seem to ‘click’ with everyone they meet? It’s like they’ve got this super skill that makes them instantly likable.

Well, guess what? It’s not a superpower. It’s called social intelligence. And the best part? It’s something anyone can learn!

Let’s go through the 12 phrases that socially intelligent people use to connect with others instantly.

1. “Tell me more about that.”

You know what people love? Feeling heard and understood.

That’s why socially intelligent people often use this phrase. It shows genuine interest and encourages the other person to share more about themselves or their experiences.

When you ask this, it’s not just about the words you say. It’s also about how you say it.

Make sure your body language shows that you’re really listening. Nod your head, make eye contact, and lean in a little.

2. “I really admire how you…”

Compliments are powerful, but they mean so much more when they’re specific and sincere. That’s why socially smart people often use phrases like this one.

They don’t just say “you’re great,” they pinpoint exactly what they admire about the person.

Maybe it’s their creativity, their dedication, or their kindness to others. Whatever it is, acknowledging it can make a real connection.

When you’re impressed by someone, let them know exactly why. It’s a guaranteed way to make them feel special and appreciated. 

3. “I totally understand where you’re coming from.”

Empathy is a key part of social intelligence. It’s all about understanding and sharing the feelings of others.

Sometimes, just knowing someone else ‘gets it’ can make a world of difference.

A while back, I was talking to a friend who was upset about a disagreement at work. Instead of jumping in with advice, I simply said, “I totally understand where you’re coming from. It’s tough when you feel like your opinion isn’t being valued.”

Her response? A sigh of relief and a heartfelt “Thank you, that means a lot.” Just by showing I understood her perspective, we were able to connect on a deeper level.

Sometimes people don’t need advice. They just need to know they’re not alone in how they feel.

4. “That’s really interesting, I didn’t know that.”

Did you know that expressing curiosity can actually make you more likable?

It’s true! A Harvard study found that people who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are perceived as more likable.

Socially intelligent people are often curious and open-minded. They love learning new things, and they’re not afraid to admit when they don’t know something.

When you say “That’s really interesting, I didn’t know that,” you’re showing that you value the other person’s knowledge and perspective.

It’s a simple phrase that can lead to deeper, more meaningful conversations.

5. “I’m really sorry to hear that.”

Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, and sometimes people just need a bit of empathy.

Socially intelligent people understand this and aren’t afraid to acknowledge when someone is going through a tough time.

Saying “I’m really sorry to hear that,” can provide a lot of comfort. It shows that you’re there for them and that their feelings are valid.

It’s a simple phrase, but it can mean so much to someone who is struggling.

Just remember, when you say this, mean it. Genuine empathy can’t be faked, and people can tell when you’re not being sincere.

When someone shares something difficult with you, let them know you’re there for them – it might just make their day a little bit easier.

6. “I could use your advice.”

A few months ago, I was working on a project and hit a roadblock. I wasn’t sure how to move forward, so I turned to a colleague and said, “I could use your advice.”

The result? Not only did I get some valuable insights that helped me with the project, but it also strengthened our connection.

My colleague felt valued and respected for his expertise, and I showed that I was open to learning and growing.

Asking for advice shows humility and respect for the other person’s knowledge and experience.

It’s a simple phrase that can help build stronger, more collaborative relationships. 

7. “I was wrong about that.”

We all mess up. We all make mistakes. And guess what? That’s okay. What’s not okay is pretending we’re perfect. That’s why socially intelligent people aren’t afraid to admit when they’re wrong.

Saying “I was wrong about that,” shows that you’re human. It shows that you value truth over your ego.

It might be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s a powerful way to show integrity and earn respect.

Next time you mess up, own it. It might sting a little, but it’ll also help you connect with others on a deeper, more authentic level.

Because at the end of the day, we’re all just humans trying to figure things out.

8. “Thank you for your patience.”

 Socially intelligent people understand the power of a simple ‘thank you.’ Especially when someone has been patient with them.

It acknowledges the other person’s effort and shows appreciation for their understanding.

When someone cuts you some slack, don’t forget to say, “Thank you for your patience.” It’s a small phrase with a big impact. And who knows? You might just make their day a little brighter. 

9. “I really appreciate your help.”

A while back, I was working on a big project and was running behind. A coworker stepped in to help me meet the deadline. Instead of just a standard ‘thanks’, I said, “I really appreciate your help.”

That simple phrase made my coworker light up. It showed that I didn’t just see their effort as part of their job, but something that deserved specific appreciation.

Saying “I really appreciate your help” is a great way to make someone feel valued and recognized.

So don’t forget to show your appreciation when someone lends you a hand – it can really make their day and strengthen your connection with them!

10. “I messed up, and I’m sorry.”

No one likes to admit when they’re wrong, but it’s something we all need to do from time to time. It’s not about beating yourself up, it’s about owning your actions and apologizing when necessary.

Saying “I messed up, and I’m sorry” shows that you value the relationship more than your pride. It’s raw, honest, and it can mend broken connections and build stronger ones.

When you mess up, don’t run from it. Face it head-on, apologize genuinely, and learn from it. It’s one of the most human things you can do.

There you have it – 10 phrases that socially intelligent people use to make an instant connection.

Remember, it’s not just about the words – it’s about being genuine, showing empathy, and valuing the other person.

So give these phrases a try and see how they can improve your social connections. 

11. “I value your perspective.”

Socially intelligent people recognize the importance of validating others’ views and opinions.

When they say, “I value your perspective,” it’s an acknowledgment that every person’s thoughts and feelings are significant.

It’s about giving respect and opening up a space where others feel safe and encouraged to express themselves freely.

This phrase creates an environment of mutual respect and understanding, fostering stronger, more meaningful connections.

So when you’re in a discussion, especially a heated one, try using this phrase. It’ll not only defuse tension but also elevate the level of conversation.

Make it a practice to listen intently, validate, and then, if necessary, provide your viewpoint. It can turn debates into collaborative discussions.

12. “How can I support you?”

This powerful phrase exemplifies one of the hallmarks of social intelligence – offering support and assistance to others.

When someone is going through a challenge, instead of assuming what they need, socially intelligent people ask, “How can I support you?” It demonstrates a willingness to be there for others in whatever way they need, showing respect for their autonomy and a genuine desire to be of help.

When someone shares a challenge or struggle with you, resist the urge to jump into problem-solving mode immediately. Instead, ask how you can support them.

It empowers them to express their needs and assures them that you’re there to back them up, strengthening the bond between you.

Wrapping It Up

Remember, it’s not just about saying the right things – it’s about being real and sincere. If you’re not genuine, people can tell. It’s like a sixth sense we all have.

Being real, showing that you truly care, and really listening – that’s where the magic happens. It’s about being there for others, respecting their thoughts and feelings, and being kind and supportive.

Try using these phrases, but always mean what you say. Be yourself, be real, and you’ll notice the difference in how people respond to you.

You’ll build stronger, more meaningful connections that can last a lifetime.

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Picture of Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the editor of Ideapod and founder of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you to want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

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