Those who’ve said, “age is just a number” clearly know what they’re talking about.
According to statistics combined by AARP, 34% of women over 40 are now dating younger men.
While others are attracted to looks, intelligence or personality, some men prefer dating older women.
And why not?
There are plenty of great reasons for dating mature women—they know what they want and have what you call “old souls“—which make dating them a whole lot more meaningful and fun.
Here are 11 things that show mature women are the best women to date.
1. They are independent.
One of the best qualities mature women have is their independence.
They likely have their life together. Mature women have their own careers, set of friends, and things they are passionate about.
Because they have plenty of life experience that has taught them to be self-reliant.
Dating coach Sandy Weiner derives on personal experience by saying, mature women “become independent by default.”
“We become independent by default. We stopped asking for what we needed and wanted, because our past experiences told us we’d be ignored or worse, put down.
“So we learned to do it all. We stopped trusting that men would show up and be the loving partners we wanted and needed.”
Mature women have a strong sense of self, which means they are self-assured. You don’t need to give them constant assurance.
2. They know how to take responsibility.
Mature women won’t give up their dreams for you. And they won’t let your relationship affect major life decisions.
They take full responsibility for their own life, which eases the pressure off of you as their partner.
That’s because their previous experiences have taught them how to create healthy relationships.
Weiner says there are two reasons behind this:
“One, we chose the wrong partners, men who shut us out when the going got tough and couldn’t communicate well.
“Two, we had ineffective communication skills. Many women have trouble asking for what they want in an effective way.”
Mature women know when something is their fault and will have no trouble apologizing to you if they’re wrong. Say goodbye to petty fights and passive-aggressiveness.
3. Their maturity is attractive.
While others find older women unattractive, more and more men now view maturity as a very desirable trait.
According to a study published in the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, men who were together with older women found their older age and experience as a good thing.
The study’s authors wrote:
“This study found that many men see her having life experience, maturity, and an established career as an advantage, which differs from the traditional thinking that the man is supposed to be the one who is more established and making more money.
In fact, the men in this study reported that they were attracted to her because of the age difference.”
The truth is, an experienced woman is incredibly sexy. You don’t really see her worldliness as a setback. It’s actually a plus.
4. They know what they want.
There are no playing games with mature women. They know what they want. And if something doesn’t cut it, they’re unafraid to let it go.
Their deal-breakers are in place. They are unwilling to compromise when it comes to the things that really matter for them.
When women are younger and less experienced, they tend to put up with more. It’s easier to push their boundaries. But as women mature, they feel more confident about what they want.
When someone knows what they want, being in a relationship becomes so much easier.
According to licensed psychologist Dr. Joy Harden Bradford:
“I think the most important thing for people looking for love is to make sure they’re actually out enjoying their lives so that they can be in the position to perhaps meet other people enjoying similar things.”
There is something wonderful about dating a strong, independent woman. And when she knows what she wants in life, she becomes a strong partner for you, too.
5. They’re honest and blunt.
Honesty is a great aspect of effective communication between couples.
Even research shows that honesty is the main predictor of happy, healthy relationships.
In a study by the University of Notre Dame, researchers found that telling fewer lies improves your health significantly. Furthermore, it can induce positive social interactions and improve interpersonal relationships, too.
According to the study’s lead author, psychology professor Anita Kelly:
“Statistical analyses showed that this improvement in relationships significantly accounted for the improvement in health that was associated with less lying.”
The more a woman matures, the more she values honesty not only from her partner but from herself as well.
Mature women have no times for lies and games. They want complete honesty and they are not afraid of demanding it from themselves and you.
(If you want frank, honest advice about how to meet women, check out Lachlan Brown’s Tao of Badass review).
6. They will love you for who you are, not for what you can offer.
When you’re dating a strong, independent, and self-assured woman, you know that they are with you because they love you for who you are. Not because of your wallet, your looks, or anything else they can get from you.
Mature women are typically more financially secure. So it won’t always be your responsibility to pick up the bill.
But it’s more than just that. You will be with someone who sees you, and yet accepts you. This woman doesn’t see you as a perfect piece of meal ticket or trophy. She is with you because she wants you – completely.
7. They’re more grateful about their relationships.
In life, when we’ve had enough relationships under our belts, we’ve learned what we want in relationships. More importantly, we know what we don’t want.
Mature women understand this. They know what toxic relationships are like. They’ve probably had their fair share of unpleasant relationships.
So when they do have something good, they know how to appreciate it. What’s more, they are not afraid to show you their appreciation.
Gratitude in a relationship can make or break a couple’s happiness.
Psychology researcher Amie M. Gordon went as far as to study the role gratitude plays in our romantic relationships.
“Along with several colleagues, I recently published a series of studies exploring this question. We found that gratitude can help relationships thrive by promoting a cycle of generosity.
“That is, that one partner’s gratitude can prompt both partners to think and act in ways that help them signal gratitude to each other and promote a desire to hold onto their relationships.”
A relationship that is based on gratitude will help you as a couple. Mature women understand this best.
8. You’ll learn from them.
You’re likely to learn a valuable thing or two from a mature woman. It’s not that they are more experienced than you. It’s more that they know how to take their lessons in life.
Mature women are generally more introspective. They’re emotionally intelligent, which makes them more observant, curious, and aware.
They have meaningful lessons they are not afraid to share with you. And they’re open about their past. They are unafraid to tell you about their mistakes and traumas.
You don’t have to teach them about life. They are willing to share wisdom with you. But it’s also a two-way street.
A relationship where you can learn from each other is the best kind.
9. They’re ready.
Most likely, when you date a mature woman, you’ll easily find that she’s more than ready for a relationship for a lifetime.
She’s emotionally, mentally, and financially ready for a real relationship. You are not with someone who still has to deal with many personal issues. This woman has her life together. And this will definitely make for a smoother relationship.
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When you no longer have to focus on each other’s personal dilemmas, you can put more energy into creating a loving, productive, and inspiring relationship.
You don’t have to deal with doubts. You won’t deal with the insecurity and anxiety of a relationship that is unsure.
What you’ll have is someone who chooses to be with you.
10. Your relationship will be built in mutual respect.
Why would you date someone who doesn’t respect you? Someone who doesn’t respect your dreams, decisions, and choices in life?
With a mature woman, you don’t need to deal with that. You don’t need to ask for respect, it will be given to you.
In a popular blog post, author Mark Manson asked 1,500 people to give him all the relationship advice he could ever need.
And do you know what all those people agreed on?
According to the majority of them, communication is overrated – it’s actually all about respect.
“My sense is that these people, through sheer quantity of experience, have learned that communication, no matter how open, transparent and disciplined, will always break down at some point. Conflicts are ultimately unavoidable, and feelings will always be hurt.
“And the only thing that can save you and your partner, that can cushion you both to the hard landing of human fallibility, is an unerring respect for one another, the fact that you hold each other in high esteem, believe in one another — often more than you each believe in yourselves — and trust that your partner is doing his/her best with what they’ve got.”
11. They’re team players.
A successful relationship is one where each partner works as a team. If one person isn’t a team player, the relationship will likely fail.
Relationships need work. But more than that, you need to want to work for it.
And sometimes trouble comes from having a partner who doesn’t want to work and learn with you. This is a problem you won’t have when you’re dating a mature woman.
In her viral TED Talk, businesswoman Cindy Gallop boldly proclaims she likes dating younger men.
“As a mature, experienced, confident, older woman, I have no problem realizing that a certain amount of re-education, rehabilitation and reorientation has to take place.”
Mature women don’t just let you make important decisions. They make them with you.
You may not know it, but having a supportive partner is extremely important.
Science shows that your success as an individual may depend on the person you marry. So it’s only natural that you should be with someone who not only supports your dreams but works with you to achieve those dreams.
“The best possible thing you can get out of a relationship is that you’re with someone who encourages you to be the best version of yourself every day.”
– Nishan Panwar
12. They’re more emotionally intelligent.
A lot of the problems that occur in a relationship occur due to a lack of emotional intelligence.
According to Michigan State University professor and researcher Elizabeth Dorrance Hall:
“Emotionally intelligent people understand that their thoughts create their emotions, and that facilitating and controlling thought has the ability to decrease the power of their emotions.”
But emotional intelligence is something we acquire through learned life experiences, which means that it comes with maturity.
When you’re dating someone younger, this could be a problem. Mature women, on the other hand, are more equipped to handle emotions effectively.
13. You’ll have a deeper and more meaningful relationship.
Young love is exciting. It’s new, reckless, and fiery. But the truth is, young love doesn’t last.
A relationship between two mature and secure people does. Because when you’re both navigating life together, it’s important to have a connection that is in it for the long haul.
It’s important that both people understand that you are different individuals, with different identities. And while it’s critical to share your life, space, and everything else with each other, it’s also critical to maintaining your own sense of self.
With a mature woman, you don’t need to spell this part out. They understand what makes a relationship last.
So if you’re really looking for “the one,” maybe it’s time for you to consider dating a mature woman.
How to date mature women
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re already in a relationship or at least interested in someone more mature.
The ball game is indeed entirely different when you’re with a strong, independent, and mature woman.
However, it doesn’t have to be intimidating.
Here are some ways to ensure that you’re treating a mature woman the way she deserves.
1. “Grow up.”
Do you really expect to catch a mature woman’s eye if you’re acting like a child?
Before you can make anyone happy, you need to grow into your full self first. This means doing the whole shebang—finding yourself, loving what you find, and taking care of you.
According to licensed psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith:
“If you have to continually ask your partner if he or she loves you, or if your partner is never able to take in the love you have to share, both of you may want to seek some additional support. If you let the pattern continue, your relationship will not have the strength to or ability to grow.”
So if you want to be a good partner to a mature woman, you need some things to figure out.
2. Don’t try to change her.
A mature woman knows herself really well. More importantly, she accepts who she is.
And so should you. So don’t try to change her. It will just be a huge mistake, in any relationship, but especially to someone who knows her own mind.
Therapist and author Terry Gaspard explains:
“Love just isn’t enough to change a person’s basic nature and upbringing. If you fall in love with someone who is reserved and you are more outgoing and need outward signs of affection to feel secure, you’ll feel chronically dissatisfied.
“Most likely, these differences will probably eat away at loving feelings over time and erode positive feelings in your relationship.”
Instead, focus on creating a loving and supportive environment for you both.
3. Remember that she’s not perfect.
It’s true that mature women have amazing qualities that make them strong. However, it doesn’t mean they’re invincible to pain and insecurities.
In fact, because they are older than you, they might be prone to some insecurities regarding their age and physical appearance.
In the same study published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, researchers found that older women were prone to these insecurities.
“The age difference did raise some issues of insecurity for the women surrounding their attractiveness when it came to intimacy.
Even women who considered themselves to be in good shape reported that they wondered if they could compare with the beauty that is associated with youth and still capture their younger partner’s attention.”
These feelings are completely normal and you should never judge her for it. Don’t put any more pressure on her than she already has. Make her feel loved and secure, and treat her like the beautiful woman that she is.
4. Don’t try to please her all the time.
Don’t accommodate her too much. She is an independent person, and she won’t appreciate it if she sees you’re trying too hard to please her.
Even worse, is trying to change who you are for her.
A mature woman will be attracted to someone confident and secure. In this case, confidence really is sexy.
According to author and philosophy professor Mark D. White:
“It shows people that you’re comfortable with yourself, which grants you a certain poise, charm, or assertiveness. It also implies that you don’t need to compete with anyone or belittle anyone else to lift yourself up; as a result, confident people are more willing to praise others because they aren’t worried about making themselves look worse.”
The qualities and virtues of a mature woman make them amazing partners. In their own unique ways, they are quite special.
However, they are no different than the rest of us—they are human, with the same wants, needs, and desire to be loved as anyone does.
So if you’re dating one, or interested in being with one, remember that all it takes is to love and treat someone the right way.
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