My second relationship was with a woman who was five years older than me. It was one of the best relationships I’ve ever been in. I’m still friends with her to this day.
From there, I began seeking older women as if they were the only ones on Earth. I eventually came back to the middle but my taste for mature women has never gone away.
Do you know want to know why mature women are the best women to date? It’s because they’re datable. They’re relatable. They’re insatiable. And they’re available too.
What is a mature woman?
A mature woman is a self-aware female who tries to focus primarily on personal growth while drawing attention to her partner’s best traits. She doesn’t try to destroy others with her insecurities. Instead, she’s a well-rounded example of what “being a lady” is all about.
Mature women don’t obsess over small flaws because they’ve accepted their own shortcomings. They’ve become comfortable with who they are, no longer trying to compete or prove a point. They’re solid, sophisticated, and (believe it or not) pretty sexy too.
Being mature isn’t all about age either. After all, age is nothing but a number. For a woman to be considered truly mature, she has to embody a specific mindset and then practice certain behaviors.
Dating a mature woman is therefore more rewarding than dating someone who’s immature. Immature women bring a dramatically underdeveloped point of view to the table. Most of the time, the relationship suffers as a result.
Women with maturity aren’t perfect in relationships but at least they’ve got a better handle on how things work (for the most part). There are a bunch of different perks, in fact. But you can’t take advantage of any of them if you don’t know how to recognize a mature woman when you see her.
Dating mature women
Mainstream society tries to tell us who we can fall in love with, but our hearts want what they want. That’s why there have been May-December romances since the dawn of time. The average couple these days is about 5 to 15 years apart.
Age gap relationships make up nearly 10% of the population, with almost 1% of that number being older women dating younger men. The terms “Silver Fox” and “Cougar” have been coined to describe the women in this revamped dating pool. In it are millions of mature ladies with one thing on their minds: dating younger men.
Contrary to popular belief, mature women still know how to have fun. If you’re wondering whether older women like sex or not, consider this: More than 40% of women ages 65 to 74 reported being sexually active with a partner. And since maturity isn’t only about birthdays, it’s possible to have the best of both worlds.
But according to the controversial “Rule of Sevens,” you’re not supposed to date anyone who’s more than seven years older than you. Apparently, it’s a recipe for disaster. So how do we explain couples like Lisa Bonet and Jason Mamoa who are 18 years apart? They’ve been married for a few years now, by the way.
Dating (or even marrying) a mature woman has many advantages. Just ask the lucky men who have snagged one. According to AARP statistics, 34% of women over the age of 40 are now dating someone younger.
Reasons why mature women are the best women to date
Mature women in relationships bring fulfillment and satisfaction in a way that’s virtually impossible for an immature partner to pull off. Here are 12 more reasons why mature women are the best women to date:
1) You can live your own life
Mature women are generally independent, which means you don’t have to babysit or cramp your style to get along. You can live your own life while she lives hers, then come together when the time is right with no hard feelings.
2) The conversations are deep
Older women have been around the block a few times, so they’ve got interesting things to say. Conversations are almost always deeper and more revealing of her true character. No hiding.
3) Gold diggers are few
Usually, a mature woman has already established herself financially. That equals a personal bank account and lots of “Going Dutch” at dinner. WARNING: Some women still expect men to pay because of tradition, so bring your wallet anyway.
4) The surroundings are settled
Dating mature women involves enjoying a lifestyle that’s nice and settled. Cool, calm, and collected is probably the best way to describe it. Your relationship with a mature woman is predictable in all the right ways but still spontaneous enough to stay interesting.
5) Tastes have been developed
Figuring out where to go for dinner is a lot easier this way because mature women know what they like, dislike, and won’t tolerate. No guessing games here. And there’s a lot less of the annoying back and forth that comes with dating someone immature too.
6) You deal with a lot less drama
Speaking of annoyances, dating a mature woman means fewer dramatic outbursts and embarrassments. Skeletons in the closet are revealed upfront. A relationship with an older woman is much more relaxing and fulfilling as result.
7) There’s always something new to learn
Things tend to get boring in a relationship, but mature women keep things exciting with unique insights and educated opinions. Whether taking a stroll or watching a movie, her learned presence is the fuel that makes each date worth attending.
8) There’s mutual respect
Maturity means decency, so your relationship with a mature woman will be one of mutual respect and understanding. Things aren’t nearly as demanding on this path. You seldom have to worry about being degraded or gossiped about, especially in public.
9) The sex is better
Studies reveal that most people have the best sex of their lives after the age of 40. Sex with mature women feels more amazing for numerous reasons. For one thing, she’s more comfortable with her body. For another, she knows her way around yours.
10) Your relationship is more intimate
Because of all those other benefits of dating mature women, your relationship ends up more substantial and meaningful. It’s not a fickle and superficial arrangement. The potential for a major commitment is much more fathomable when she’s mature.
11) The bonds grow stronger
Dating often leads to a long-term relationship but, if not, it can still become a life-long friendship. That’s only possible when you’re dating a mature woman though. You don’t become instant enemies as soon as the relationship doesn’t work out.
12) You won’t lose your stuff (or your mind)
I don’t know why you would do this but breaking up with a mature woman isn’t nearly as crazy as breaking up with an immature one. You two can go your separate ways without cutting tires or drunk dialing. This type of dating helps you maintain some of your sanity (and stuff).
Mature women aren’t perfect. They’re still human beings with unique flaws and shortcomings. The point is that they make dating (and breaking up) less of a pain in the @$$.
Characteristics of mature women
Getting hooked up with a mature woman isn’t always easy. These cougars know what they like and they’re not afraid to stay single. Besides preparing yourself to be a whole snack, find out how to recognize one in the wild.
Here are the top 10 characteristics of a mature woman:
In general, older women are more experienced in life and love (and sex too). They have something to add to the conversation. They’re real.
Experience goes a long way in a relationship. Inexperienced partners make silly mistakes, but mature women have lived and learned, and it shows.
Mature women are intelligent creatures who know a thing or two. They don’t necessarily have degrees but they can hold their own in a conversation, nonetheless.
Best of all, a mature woman can speak up without making a fool of someone else to do it. She doesn’t require a crutch to look cool. She’s educated, alert, and active.
Do you know how to recognize a mature woman? By her grace and compassion for others, that’s how. She’s not the type of person to hurt others for fun.
The level of compassion that comes from a mature woman is unmatched. She has felt pain in her life. She knows what real heartache looks like. She’s prepared to help when she sees someone else suffering.
Charm is big and mature women have tons of it without even trying. They’ve got charisma, my friends. And it’s hard to deny.
As a natural byproduct of maturity, charm develops through a combination of characteristics and it a clear sign of a well-rounded woman. If she’s still single, go get her.
A mature woman is self-aware. She’s accounted for all her flaws and worked through them appropriately. She’s on it.
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Mature women aren’t afraid to admit when they’re wrong. They can resolve conflict with diplomacy and are quick to compromise. They’re easy to work with.
Maturity means understanding that nobody is perfect and being okay with that. Mature women are the best women to date because they’re confident without being cocky.
Women of this caliber don’t go fishing for compliments. They seldom get jealous. They’re comfortable in many situations, and they’re not full of self-doubt.
Mature women appreciate the fact that life isn’t all fun and games. They know when to get serious and when to let loose. They’re well-balanced.
Her responsibilities are a primary priority, even if that means sacrificing enjoyment or leisure. She’s not the type to fly off the deep end or make rash decisions. She’s steady.
Just because she’s got stuff to do doesn’t mean she can’t have a good time. Mature women are fun and adventurous when the mood is right.
She’s the type of woman who will plan ahead for something amazing. She takes a proactive approach to living her best life. She’s done letting life be in control.
Poise and maturity go hand-in-hand most of the time. Mature women are poised and easy-going because they’ve pretty much seen it all. They’re not dead inside though.
A mature woman knows exactly where she stands. She can’t be swayed by trends and opinions. She’s her own lady with an open mind and fortified heart. She’s a treasure.
Because she’s a treasure, communities often lift up a mature woman who has made a difference in society. You will know her by her fruits, basically.
Mature women are respected and respectable, even in places they’ve never been. They have an air of decency and always treat others with dignity. They’re not saints; they’re just beautiful, intuitive females.
If you’re lucky enough to spot a mature woman looking for a date, approach her correctly. She probably has a ton of options. Don’t even go there unless you can be sure she likes you.
How to date mature women
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re already in a relationship or at least interested in someone more mature.
The ball game is indeed entirely different when you’re with a strong, independent, and mature woman.
However, it doesn’t have to be intimidating.
Here are some ways to ensure that you’re treating a mature woman the way she deserves.
1) “Grow up”
Do you really expect to catch a mature woman’s eye if you’re acting like a child?
Before you can make anyone happy, you need to grow into your full self first. This means doing the whole shebang—finding yourself, loving what you find, and taking care of you.
According to licensed psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith:
“If you have to continually ask your partner if he or she loves you, or if your partner is never able to take in the love you have to share, both of you may want to seek some additional support. If you let the pattern continue, your relationship will not have the strength to or ability to grow.”
So if you want to be a good partner to a mature woman, you need some things to figure out.
2) Don’t try to change her
A mature woman knows herself really well. More importantly, she accepts who she is.
And so should you. So don’t try to change her. It will just be a huge mistake, in any relationship, but especially to someone who knows her own mind.
Therapist and author Terry Gaspard explains:
“Love just isn’t enough to change a person’s basic nature and upbringing. If you fall in love with someone who is reserved and you are more outgoing and need outward signs of affection to feel secure, you’ll feel chronically dissatisfied.
“Most likely, these differences will probably eat away at loving feelings over time and erode positive feelings in your relationship.”
Instead, focus on creating a loving and supportive environment for you both.
3) Remember that she’s not perfect
It’s true that mature women have amazing qualities that make them strong. However, it doesn’t mean they’re invincible to pain and insecurities.
In fact, because they are older than you, they might be prone to some insecurities regarding their age and physical appearance.
In the same study published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, researchers found that older women were prone to these insecurities.
“The age difference did raise some issues of insecurity for the women surrounding their attractiveness when it came to intimacy.
Even women who considered themselves to be in good shape reported that they wondered if they could compare with the beauty that is associated with youth and still capture their younger partner’s attention.”
These feelings are completely normal and you should never judge her for it. Don’t put any more pressure on her than she already has. Make her feel loved and secure, and treat her like the beautiful woman that she is.
4) Don’t try to please her all the time
Don’t accommodate her too much. She is an independent person, and she won’t appreciate it if she sees you’re trying too hard to please her.
Even worse, is trying to change who you are for her.
A mature woman will be attracted to someone confident and secure. In this case, confidence really is sexy.
According to author and philosophy professor Mark D. White:
“It shows people that you’re comfortable with yourself, which grants you a certain poise, charm, or assertiveness. It also implies that you don’t need to compete with anyone or belittle anyone else to lift yourself up; as a result, confident people are more willing to praise others because they aren’t worried about making themselves look worse.”
What mature women want is what all women want: passion, accountability, fun…tons of great sex. They can be hard to catch but that’s only because they know what they’re looking for. Do you?
If being mature isn’t about age then it’s about a mindset. So, dating mature women brings a much more lovable mindset to any budding relationship. Age is nothing but a number anyway.
With the age gap closing fast, now’s the time to start asking mature women out on dates. Get her to like you and it’s a cakewalk from there. Probably.
A mature woman has the characteristics you’ve been waiting for all your life. She’s fun, honest, interesting, and dependable. Who knows? She could even be your soulmate.
Now that you’ve read about why mature women are the best women to date, read our article on the signs that a younger man is into an older woman.
How this one revelation changed my love life
It’s Justin Brown here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I have something to confess…
I used to believe I needed to be successful before I deserved to find someone who could love me.
I used to believe there was a “perfect person” out there and I just had to find them.
I used to believe I would finally be happy once I found “the one”.
What I now know is that these limiting beliefs were stopping me from building deep and intimate relationships with the people I was meeting. I was chasing an illusion that was leading me to loneliness.
If you want to change anything in your life, one of the most effective ways is to change your beliefs.
Unfortunately, it’s not an easy thing to do.
I’m lucky to have worked directly with the shaman Rudá Iandê in changing my beliefs about love. Doing so has changed my life forever.
Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.
As the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a unique position to be able to bring Rudá’s teachings to our global community.
We do this by promoting his masterclasses.
One of the most powerful masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. In this class, Rudá breaks down his key lessons on cultivating healthy and nurturing relationships in your life.
Thousands of people have already let me know that this masterclass has changed their love lives for the better.
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder