Ever find yourself caught up in imagining the ‘perfect’ relationship? A world where you and your partner always agree and never fight?
Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but real relationships aren’t like that.
Sometimes we get so carried away in our daydreams that we forget to see the reality.
So, let’s explore 10 warning signs that you’re stuck in a fantasy relationship, not a real one.
1. Your partner is perfect… a little too perfect.
In a fantasy relationship, your partner can do no wrong. They’re always understanding, always agree with you, and never have a bad day. Sounds too good to be true, right?
Let me tell you about my personal experience. I was once in a relationship with someone who, according to my imagination, was Mr. Perfect. He always said the right things, never argued, and agreed with everything I said. It felt like living in a dream.
But then reality struck. I realized I was ignoring his flaws and only focusing on the good stuff. Everyone has flaws – it’s a part of being human. The real test of a relationship is how you deal with those imperfections together.
If your partner seems too perfect, it might be time to ask yourself if you’re seeing them as they really are or as you want them to be.
2. You never fight or disagree… ever.
Now, this might sound a bit strange, because who wants to be in a relationship where you’re always fighting, right? But let me tell you, never having disagreements is not as great as it sounds.
I remember in one of my past relationships, we never fought. Like, ever. It was all sunshine and rainbows all the time. But instead of making our relationship stronger, it made me feel like we were living in a bubble.
The truth is, disagreements are part of any healthy relationship. They help you understand your partner better and see things from their perspective. If you never fight or disagree, it might mean you’re not communicating about the important stuff or sharing your true feelings.
If your relationship is always smooth sailing with no waves at all, it’s time to check if you’re sailing on a real sea or just floating in a fantasy bubble.
3. You’re always the priority… no matter what.
Does your partner always drop everything for you, no matter what they’re doing or how important it is? While it’s nice to feel special and prioritized, it’s not healthy or realistic for someone to always put you first.
Let me share a little story. I was dating this guy who would always cancel his plans, even important ones, just to be with me. At first, it felt amazing. I felt loved and prioritized. But soon, it started feeling off.
In a real relationship, balance is key. Both partners have their own lives, their own interests, and their own commitments. It’s important to respect that and give each other space.
If your partner is always ready to drop everything for you at a moment’s notice, it might be a sign that you’re living in a fantasy relationship. Real relationships involve compromise and understanding, not constant sacrifice.
I learned about the dangers of codependency and the importance of balance from the free masterclass on love and intimacy playing here on Ideapod. Check it out.
4. You don’t have any friends or hobbies outside the relationship.
In a real relationship, it’s important to have a life outside of your partner. This includes having your own friends, hobbies, and interests.
Here’s an interesting fact: did you know that couples who maintain their individuality often have healthier relationships?
Having your own life outside of your relationship helps you stay balanced and not overly dependent on your partner for your happiness.
But in a fantasy relationship, it’s all about the two of you, all the time. If you notice that you’re constantly with your partner and don’t have time for anything or anyone else, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate whether you’re in a real relationship or just living out a fantasy.
5. You’re always waiting for the future.
In a fantasy relationship, you’re always living for the future. You keep telling yourself that things will get better or that your partner will change. But in reality, you’re just stuck in a loop of unfulfilled promises.
I remember a time when I was constantly waiting for my partner to make more time for me. He was always busy, and I kept telling myself that things would change, that we would spend more time together. But that day never came.
In a real relationship, it’s not about waiting for the future, it’s about living in the present. It’s about accepting your partner as they are right now, not who they could be. Waiting endlessly for a future that never comes is not a sign of a healthy relationship; it’s a sign of a fantasy one.
6. You’re always happy… all the time.
In a fantasy relationship, everything is always perfect. There are no bad days, no sad moments, only constant happiness. But that’s not how real relationships work.
I remember when I was in a relationship where we were always laughing, always happy. On the surface, it seemed great. But deep down, I knew something was missing. We were avoiding any serious talks or difficult emotions. We never really shared our insecurities, our fears, or our vulnerabilities.
In a real relationship, it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. There are hard days, there are sad moments, and that’s okay. It’s how you deal with these ups and downs together that truly defines your relationship.
If your relationship is one endless happy moment with no room for real emotions or tough conversations, it might be time to ask yourself if it’s real or just a fantasy.
7. You’re always trying to prove your love.
In a fantasy relationship, you’re constantly trying to prove your love. You feel the need to showcase your affection in grand gestures or through social media posts, just to validate your relationship.
I’ve been there myself. I used to think that if I didn’t show my love in extravagant ways, it would mean I wasn’t in love enough. But over time, I realized that real love doesn’t need constant validation or proof.
In a real relationship, love is more about understanding, respect, and trust. It’s about the little things – a warm hug after a tough day, a comforting word when you’re feeling down, or just being there for each other.
If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your love, it could be a sign that you’re in a fantasy relationship. Real love doesn’t need constant validation; it simply is.
8. You don’t really know each other.
In a fantasy relationship, you might think you know your partner inside out. But in reality, you might only know an idealized version of them, not their true selves.
Here’s something to ponder: in order for a relationship to truly thrive, it’s crucial to understand each other’s values, dreams, fears, and flaws. Without this deep understanding, the relationship lacks a solid foundation.
But in a fantasy relationship, this depth is often missing. You might know your partner’s favorite color or their go-to food order, but you might not know about their childhood dreams or their biggest fears.
So if you feel like you’re in love with an image rather than the real person behind that image, it could be a sign that you’re in a fantasy relationship.
Check out the video below where Ideapod founder Justin Brown talks about the dangers of idealizing the perfect partner.
9. There is no personal growth.
In a real relationship, both partners grow together. They challenge each other, learn from each other, and become better versions of themselves.
I remember being in a relationship where everything was static. We were happy, sure, but there was no growth. We were stuck in our comfort zones, living the same day over and over again. It felt like we were characters in a TV show with no character development.
In a real relationship, there are challenges that help you grow as individuals and as a couple. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s necessary for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
If you’re in a relationship where everything is constant and there’s no room for personal growth, it might be time to ask yourself if you’re living in reality or just stuck in a fantasy.
10. You’re not truly comfortable with each other.
In a fantasy relationship, everything is picture-perfect. You always look your best, say the right things, and never let your guard down. But that’s not what real relationships are like.
Let me share something with you. I was in a relationship where I always felt the need to be ‘on’. I never felt comfortable enough to be my true self – no makeup, messy hair, and all. There was a constant pressure to maintain an image of perfection.
In a real relationship, you should feel comfortable being your true self. You don’t have to put on a show or maintain an illusion of perfection. You can be yourself, flaws and all, and still be loved and accepted.
So if you find yourself constantly trying to be ‘perfect’ for your partner, it might be a sign that you’re not in a real relationship, but rather a fantasy one.
Real love isn’t about perfection or constant happiness. It’s about understanding, growth, and acceptance. So take off those rose-tinted glasses and step into the reality of love. It might not be as picture-perfect as a fantasy, but it’s real, raw, and infinitely more beautiful.
Wrapping things up
We’ve talked about the warning signs that you might be stuck in a fantasy relationship instead of a real one. And let’s be honest – recognizing these signs can be a bit tough. It’s not easy to admit that the relationship you’ve invested so much in might not be real. But it’s important to face the truth.
Now, what should you do if you find yourself relating to these signs? Well, the first step is acknowledging the situation. Accept that you might be living in a fantasy and not a reality.
Next, communicate with your partner. Talk about your fears, your concerns, and your hopes for the relationship. Remember, a real relationship thrives on honest and open communication.
And if things still don’t change? Well, it might be time to rethink your relationship. It’s not easy, I know. But remember, you deserve a real relationship, not just a fantasy.