10 signs you’re feeling rejected in your relationship (and what to do about it)

Ever feel like you’re all alone even when your partner is right there with you? It’s an odd feeling, isn’t it? Like you’re by yourself even though you shouldn’t be.

I’ve been in your shoes and it’s not a walk in the park.

This unwanted feeling of rejection can creep up on you, uninvited and unwelcome. But, here’s the thing: just because you feel rejected doesn’t mean you actually are. Sometimes, it’s all down to a misunderstanding or miscommunication.

Having been through this myself, I’ve learned how to spot the signs. Once you know these signs, you can deal with them head-on.

Let’s dive in. We’re about to explore 10 signs that might suggest you’re feeling rejected in your relationship – and what you can do about it.

1. Lack of Communication

Remember when you and your partner used to talk about everything under the sun? From sharing silly anecdotes to discussing your dreams and fears, communication was never an issue. But lately, it feels like pulling teeth just to have a simple conversation.

That’s exactly what happened to me. I remember a time when my partner and I could chat for hours on end – about our day, our friends, our hopes, everything. But then, things started changing. Our conversations became shorter and less frequent. I’d ask how their day was and receive a curt “fine” in response. The vibrant exchanges we used to have seemed like a distant memory. It felt like I was talking to a wall rather than the person I loved.

When something like this happens, it’s natural to feel rejected. You might start questioning if your partner still enjoys your company or if they’re getting bored of you. But before you jump to any conclusions, take a step back and try to figure out what’s happening.

In my case, my partner was going through a tough phase at work and was too stressed out to engage in long conversations. Once we identified the problem, we worked on finding solutions together.

2. Over Communication

Now, this might sound a bit strange after my first point. How can too much communication make you feel rejected? Well, hear me out.

There was a time in my relationship when my partner started texting me all the time. And I mean ALL the time – during work, during lunch, during my workout, even during my ‘me-time’. Sounds sweet and attentive, right? But it began to feel like an invasion of my personal space.

It felt like they were checking on me constantly, not out of love, but more as a control thing. Instead of feeling loved and cherished, I started feeling smothered and rejected – as if my partner didn’t trust me enough to give me some space.

If something similar is happening with you, don’t worry. It doesn’t necessarily mean your partner is trying to control you. They might just be trying to stay connected because they miss you or are feeling insecure.

The best thing to do in this situation is to set boundaries. Talk to your partner openly about how you’re feeling and find a balance that works for both of you. In my case, we decided on specific ‘no-phone’ times during the day when we could focus on ourselves without any interruption.

3. Physical Affection Takes a Backseat

Let’s talk about another sign, one that hit me quite hard. There was a period when the usual hugs, kisses, and cuddles, the ones we often take for granted, started becoming rare in my relationship. Heck, even a casual touch seemed like a big deal!

Physical affection is a fundamental way we humans express love and connection. So, when it lessens or disappears altogether, it can leave you feeling unwanted or rejected. I remember questioning if my partner no longer found me attractive or if they were losing interest in me.

But before you let your mind wander to these conclusions, pause! It might not be about you at all. In my case, my partner was dealing with a personal issue that had nothing to do with me or our relationship. They just didn’t feel like being physically close to anyone.

So what can you do? As always, communication is key. Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. Explain that physical affection is important to you and that its absence is making you feel insecure.

4. Feeling Left Out of Decisions

Imagine this: you come home one day to find out your partner has rearranged the entire living room or made plans for the weekend without even consulting you. It’s like you’re a guest in your own life, huh?

Now, here’s an interesting thing to note: we humans are wired to feel included and valued. It’s part of our survival instinct. So, when we’re left out of decisions, especially ones that directly impact us, it can trigger feelings of rejection.

If this is happening in your relationship, don’t jump the gun and assume your partner doesn’t value your opinion. They might not even realize they’re making you feel this way.

The best way forward? You guessed it – communication. Let your partner know how their actions are affecting you. Make it clear that you want to be part of decisions that impact both of you.

5. No Longer a Priority

We all have busy lives. Work, friends, hobbies, personal time – there are so many things that vie for our attention. But when you’re in a relationship, your partner should be one of your top priorities, right? So, what happens when you start feeling like you’ve been pushed down the list?

This was a tough one for me. I noticed my partner was always ‘too busy’ for our usual movie nights or weekend brunches. Our special moments were slowly replaced with ‘work emergencies’ and ‘important meetings’. I felt like I was no longer important, and let me tell you, it hurt.

Before you let such feelings overwhelm you, take a deep breath. Yes, it’s possible that your partner is taking you for granted. But it’s also possible they’re just caught up in the whirlwind of life and don’t realize how their actions are affecting you.

It’s crucial to convey your feelings to your partner in a clear but non-accusatory manner. Let them know that their time and attention mean a lot to you and that their recent behavior is making you feel sidelined.

6. You’re Always the Initiator

This one’s a tricky beast. I remember a time when I realized I was always the one initiating – be it conversations, date nights, or even resolving fights. It felt like I was the only one trying to keep the relationship alive while my partner was just coasting along.

Being the only initiator can be exhausting and can make you feel unwanted or unloved. You might start wondering if your partner is even interested in the relationship anymore.

But before you lose heart, take a moment to consider another perspective. It’s possible your partner doesn’t realize they’ve put you in this position. They might be comfortable with you taking charge and don’t understand how this imbalance is affecting you.

The best way to tackle this? Talk about it, of course! Let your partner know that you’d like them to take the initiative more often. It could be as simple as starting a conversation or planning a surprise date.

In my case, once my partner understood how I felt, they started making more of an effort. And let me tell you, it made all the difference in our relationship.

7. You Feel Disconnected Even When You’re Together

Ever felt alone even when you’re sitting right next to your partner? It’s kind of like you’re together, but you’re not really. I’ve been there and honestly, it’s a tough place to be.

It often feels like there’s this invisible wall between you two. Maybe your conversations feel forced, or maybe it’s like you’re just going through the motions. It’s like you’re sharing a space but not a life.

Before you let this feeling of disconnection engulf you, it’s essential to realize that every relationship has its highs and lows. You won’t always feel perfectly in sync with your partner, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed.

The key here is to address it instead of ignoring it. Talk to your partner about how you feel. Try engaging in activities that you both enjoy to reconnect on a deeper level.

In my case, we started taking cooking classes together as it was something we both loved. This shared experience helped us rebuild our connection and brought us closer than ever before.

8. Frequent Fights Over Little Things

You know what’s worse than a big fight? Tiny fights that happen all the time. It’s like living on a landmine where the smallest things can trigger an explosion.

There was a time in my relationship when we would bicker over the silliest things – who left the lights on, why the dishes weren’t done, or why we were watching another sci-fi movie. I felt like we were drifting apart and these constant fights were pushing us further away.

Now, here’s something you might not know: frequent small fights can sometimes be a mask for deeper issues. It could be stress, insecurity, or unresolved issues that are causing these quarrels.

If you’re experiencing this, it’s important not to dismiss these fights as ‘just another argument’. Try to get to the root of the problem. Is there an underlying issue that needs to be addressed?

In my case, our constant bickering was due to the stress of moving to a new city. Once we realized this, we started working together to make our new situation more comfortable and the petty fights naturally reduced.

9. You Feel More Like Roommates Than Lovers

Let me take you back to a time in my relationship when everything felt… well, just too platonic. We were living together, sharing responsibilities, and being good friends. But the spark, the romance, and the passion that used to define us seemed to have faded away.

It was as if we had become roommates who shared a bed rather than lovers. There was no excitement, no butterflies in the stomach – just a comfortable monotony. And it made me feel rejected and unloved.

If you’re going through something similar, don’t lose hope. Relationships go through phases, and it’s normal to have periods of lull. But if you’re missing the romance, it’s time to reignite that flame.

What worked for me was taking a trip down memory lane. We started revisiting places that held special memories for us, recreated some of our first dates, and even tried to bring back small gestures of love like leaving sweet notes or surprising each other with a favorite meal.

And guess what? It worked! The romance slowly but surely made its way back into our relationship.

10. You’re Constantly Questioning Their Love for You

This is a hard one to admit, but there was a time when I found myself constantly wondering if my partner still loved me. I would overanalyze their words and actions, looking for any sign of reassurance. It felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster, and let me tell you, it was exhausting.

If you’re constantly questioning your partner’s love, it’s a sign that you’re feeling rejected in your relationship. But remember: just because you feel this way doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true.

What helped me was having an open and honest conversation with my partner about my insecurities. I realized that most of my fears were in my head and had more to do with my insecurities than with their feelings towards me.

It might be scary, but talking about your feelings can make a world of difference. More often than not, your partner will reassure you of their love and help you navigate your insecurities.

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Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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