Twin-flame relationship: 4 crucial elements (and 23 undeniable signs)

If you’ve ever felt an intense, undeniable connection with another person, it’s likely that you were lucky enough to find your twin flame. 

A twin flame is a special relationship – not necessarily a romantic relationship – they offer you a deep, meaningful and often chaotic connection with another human being that you feel immediately upon entering their lives. 

This kind of relationship can, and usually does, come out of nowhere, but when you find it, it’s hard to deny that you are meant to have this person in your life in some form or another. 

Twin flames are drawn to one another for special reasons. It’s not your job to uncover why you need each other, but it is your job to understand what’s special about the other person and find a way to allow them to be in your life. 

According to spiritual coach Tanya Carroll Richardson in Mind Body Green, a twin flame relationship is special because it is made up of two people who balance each other out.

“Twin flames trigger each other and bring aspects that are hidden in the shadow (those parts of ourselves we do not want to own or heal) into the open.”

So many twin flame relationships fizzle because neither party recognizes the importance of them finding each other. 

And sometimes those involved are their own worst enemies. This is what happens when you’re dealing with such an intense experience.

Unfortunately, many people don’t have the chance to experience a twin flame relationship. But when you do meet your twin flame, you’ll recognize it right away, says Alex Mylers in Elephant Journal.

“As soon as they meet, they feel an overwhelming and familiar “home” sensation, as though they have known one another before.”

Don’t let your opportunity to be happy and connected to someone who is meant to be in your life just because you can’t handle the intensity of the relationship. 

So before we talk about the 23 essential signs of a twin flame relationship, let’s talk about the 4 essential elements for making a twin flame relationship thrive. 

The 4 essential elements of a twin flame relationship

1) Find the balance you both need.

One of the first things you’ll notice about coming into contact with your twin flame is that you might be overwhelmed by the sensations and feelings, vibrations and connection you feel when you meet.

Tanya Carroll Richardson in Mind Body Green says that twin flames often say that they’ve “never felt this way with another person before. There was this strong connection very early on. And the physical chemistry between us is off the charts.”

This might go on for some time before you realize what you are confronted with.

It’s important that you make time to figure out how to balance your relationship so that you aren’t exhausted from intense and chaotic feelings for one another.

After all, this is the specialty of a twin flame relationship – the fact that they are meant to balance each other out.

In fact, Saorise Brown says in Elephant Journal that the main purpose of a twin flame relationship is to connect you back to your “higher self, to source and to take you to a higher level of consciousness.”

So give it time for the intense connection to work. If your partner is a little selfish or narcissistic, instead of being annoyed about those aspects of their personality, recognize that it might be balancing you out.

Maybe you’re a selfless person and the lesson your partner is giving you is to look after yourself more.

Even if the relationship is not romantic, you’ll feel drawn to this person so use that motivation to understand them more.

2) Create space for emotions in your relationship.

If there’s one thing that’s true about twin flames, it’s that they are intense people on their own. If you put them together, they become even more intense.

If you want your relationship to thrive, when you discover one another, it’s important that you allow one another the room and time to process emotions and to express emotions.

Lauren Suvalin in Psych Central says that a common scenario with a twin flame is that one partner may be experiencing “deep and painful emotions that may have been suppressed.”

Rather than run away, a twin flame relationship can help you process these emotions and reach a higher vibrational frequency.

Lachlan Brown in Hack Spirit explains that a twin-flames powerful, magnetic connection may cause “partners to separate for a short time to heal and address old wounds”, all the while knowing that separation is an illusion and their connection and shared energy “will keep them linked regardless of physical space.”

This is why twin flames often talk about a “shadow”. It might be painful to look at the dark side of life, but sometimes it can be the best thing for our growth.

There are going to be a lot of emotions present in this kind of relationship because of the vibe and spiritual connection that you both will feel.

Talk to one another about the best way to communicate your feelings and emotions and make sure to respect what the other needs.

3) Allow for physical connections.

Even if your relationship is not a romantic relationship it doesn’t mean that you won’t touch one another.

You will still want to be near them, hug them, and come into contact with them on a regular basis because of the high it gives you to be in physical contact with them.

According to Alex Myles in Elephant Journal, when twin flames meet in person, there is an immediate, intense physical attraction.

She even believes that this physical and chemical attraction “releases Kundalini energy, an awakening stored at the base of the spine.”

This physical attraction may even feel surreal, she says. Why? Because she claims that there is “a merging of the two energy fields”.

Whether or not you believe in frequencies and vibrational energy fields, it can’t be denied that the physical connection is passionate, intense and comforting. When you’re with your twin flame, it may almost feel blissful.

If you do have a romantic relationship, you’ll need to make sure you are both capable of handling such a connection and be sure to take it slow so that you don’t become overwhelmed with emotion following a physical connection.

Laying some ground rules about your connection might be helpful to ensure that both of your physical needs are met, whether or not it’s a romantic relationship.

4) Respect the spirituality of your relationship.

Finally, if you want your twin flame relationship to be successful for years to come, you’ll need to respect the spirituality of one another and make room for each other’s vibe in your lives.

It’s the spiritual connection that twin flames say is the strongest part of their bond.

They often feel connected to one another on a whole other level; what that level is may differ from person to person, so if you need spiritual support and respect in one way, your partner, friend or family member may need it in another.

The spiritual connection that twin flames share is remarkably deep.

You could call it unconditional love or a feeling of “coming home”.

According to Alex Myles in Elephant Journal,, when there is genuine love and connection, it allows both of those involved to “evolve at a far higher speed than before they met”.

This is a similar situation to our discussion on the emotional aspect of a twin flame relationship.

Similarly, by delving deep into your emotions and experiencing the beauty of releasing your “shadow side”, your emotions and spirit can reach a higher vibrational frequency.

In fact, Myles says in Elephant Journal that “one of the determining signs that twin flames have connected spiritual” is when they can “sense each person’s emotions.”

I think we’ve all experienced this before. When you have a connection with someone else that runs so deep that they’re almost like a brother or sister, you can sense what they’re thinking and feeling. You can regularly finish off their sentences for them!

Don’t dismiss their needs in this area. Everything needs to work together to make sure the relationship is strong.

Despite the intense emotions and feelings related to these kinds of relationships, they are very susceptible to criticism and fatigue related to the development and maintenance of the relationship.

Now that we’ve covered the 4 essential elements to a twin flame relationship, I want to discuss 23 signs that I believe show that you’re involved in a twin flame relationship.

If you relate to these signs, count yourself as lucky! Not everyone gets to meet their twin flame.

23 signs you’re in a twin flame relationship

1) It’s like you’ve known each other your entire lives.

Have you ever met someone and you immediately felt like you have known them your entire life?

It’s a strange and unsettling feeling to realize you have not, in fact, met this person before, but you get along as if you were old friends or lovers.

This can be the first sign that this person is your twin flame and is meant to be in your life permanently.

2) You can just tell they are going to be an important person in your life.

You don’t know what role they may play, but you know that whatever they end up contributing to your life is going to be significant. You can feel it in your bones that this person is meant to be in your life and that you are meant to be in theirs.

They may even tell you that they aren’t sure who you are, but you are very important to them. Don’t be alarmed. It’s part of the twin flame process.

3) You have an instant, intense bond with them.

Getting along with a stranger better than you get along with most friends and family can seem strange at first, but before you know it, this person is going to be spending a lot of time in your life.

Whether you work together or bump into one another in the market, you’ll find yourself drawn to them and wanting to be with them more and more.

4) You feel like you literally expand when you are with them.

You feel a calm and euphoria come over you when you are around them. Your desires to want more and do more are calmed when this person is around because they are all you need in your life.

They provide such balance and tranquillity in your life that nothing else is needed. You’ll be content to just sit there and enjoy each other’s company.

5) They make you feel like a better person.

Not only do you feel an overwhelming sense of calm around this person, they make you want to be a better person overall. You’ll find yourself striving to make them happy and to make others in your life happier.

You’ll put the needs of others ahead of your own and you’ll feel proud to be associated with this person.

6) It’s like the waiting is over when they finally come into Your life.

You feel an instant sense of relief when this person finally makes their way into your life and although you might not know why right away, you welcome the feeling of release and relief into your life.

It is important to recognize that you are going to be on a journey with this person and that they are important to your life in some way. Be open to what it could be and you’ll soon find out.

7) You find yourself drawn back to them over and over again.

If you aren’t already in a friendship or relationship with this person, you’ll find that they come into your life in all sorts of ways: you’ll bump into one another, you’ll have the same friends, or you might even work in the same building.

8) They serve as your teacher, lover, supporter.

When you find your twin flame, you’ll feel a renewed passion for life. You won’t worry about things because you know you’ll always have someone in your corner. There’s no need to look outside this relationship for more because they will be your everything.

9) You don’t have to hide anything from them.

The best part of finding your twin flame is that you can be yourself. You have to be. They are your mirror image and they will recognize the areas of your life that are not authentic to you. Don’t hide who you are from this person, it will only strain the relationship.

Be glad to have a home with this person who accepts you for who you are inside.

10) You felt an immediate recognition when you met this person.

You wondered if you knew each other in another life because you connection was so strong that you’ve felt like they knew you and you knew them when you first met. It’s a wonder you haven’t crossed paths before.

11) You could just tell that they are supposed to be an important part of your life.

You don’t know why, but you felt like you were meant to meet this person at the exact moment you did. They agree with you when you talk about how it all came about. This sensation is because you are connected across many levels.

12) You feel at ease about who you are and how you show up around them.

No matter if you are wearing yoga pants or a little black dress, your twin flame doesn’t care about how you look, they only care about how you feel and if you are happy.

13) You feel like you are meant for bigger things in life.

You’ve always felt like there was supposed to be more in your life, but you could never put your finger on it in a way that made sense to you. Once you met your twin flame, everything seems to fall into place and you feel like you can do anything together.

14) You can connect with them on many different levels.

You get them emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. Everything clicks and you couldn’t imagine having that with anyone else in your life the way you do with your twin flame.

15) You’ve matured after coming into this relationship.

Before this relationship, you really felt like you were floundering in the love and friendship department, but now you feel like your circle is complete and you can move forward knowing that this person will always be there for you.

16) Your world feels bigger when they are around you.

Life opens up in many ways when you are connected to your twin flame. You may have doubted your reach before, but now you know you can do whatever you put your mind to.

17) You feel connected to them and to the earth in profound ways.

Together, you feel physically connected and you are able to understand each others thoughts and dreams in a way that makes you feel connected to higher beings and the world at large.

18) They bring balance to your life you never thought possible.

They are the yang to your yin, the black to your white, the high to your low, and the sugar to your spice. They just seem to fit in your life and even if you question its truth, you know it’s real.

19) You want to be a better person because they are in your life.

You feel like you can be different now that you have your twin flame because they have your back and you have theirs. Putting the needs of someone else first makes you a better person and provides you with a vehicle for being different in your life.

20) You feel like the wait is over now that they are in your life.

If you are like most people, you’ve spent a lot of time wishing and waiting for a meaningful relationship to show up in your life. Even if are skeptical about this relationship, you really do know that you don’t have to keep looking.

21) You describe very different childhoods and yet find many similarities buried in the stories.

Despite having grown up in different places with different beliefs and different experiences, you know that those differences are what make you unique and you find comfort in the similarities of your differences.

22) You have learned to forgive.

Your twin flame makes you a better person and allows room for forgiveness into your life that wasn’t there before. You share more with people and feel comfortable being vulnerable, even if it means you get hurt.

23) You feel like you can really trust your twin flame.

There’s no evidence to support this feeling of trust but you know it’s there and you feel it most when you are together.

Whatever your relationship is with your twin flame, platonic or romantic, don’t let that person out of your life. It’s worth the work to keep them in it.

In Conclusion

We all long for that intense, immediate, once-in-a-lifetime kind of love that strikes us down and forever changes our paths in life.

If you’ve never experienced it, you might not believe it’s real, but rest assured, that kind of knock-you-to-your-knees love is real and it’s available to anyone.

The trouble with this kind of love, however, is that we don’t always recognize it for what it is because we think that it’s romantic love.

You don’t need to experience romantic love in order to find someone who is meant to be your soulmate and challenge you in the most amazing ways.

Of course, it helps if your twin flame, as this kind of connection is called, comes to you in the form of romantic love because that just means that your life will be filled with even more intense, amazing, and life-changing meaning.

NOW WATCH: I’m 36, still single, and finally figured out why

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing for Ideapod to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.



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